We has roughly 99.99999999% possession. Again.
It was largely slow-paced sideways tippy-tappy. Again.
Alexis scored a nice headed goal, perfectly placed over Wayne Hennessey. That bit was fun.
We failed to create any serious number of chances, otherwise. Again.
Hennessey made an excellent save on Danny Welbeck.
Our subs came on and did the square root of fuck all. Again.
Theo Walcott came on and pratfalled over his own two feet. I dunno, I thought it was funny.
We got hit with a preventable sucker-punch. Again.
Gabriel screened Petr Cech a bit, but a near-post shot from Yannick Bolasie still should have been saved. Hell, at least that's a new one.
It's a brave new world, folks. A brave, unbelievably shitty world. There will be no St. Totteringham's Day this year, though you have to admit that, in part, it's because they've built themselves an excellent team. Speaking of, there may not be one of those for a while yet. Don't you get the whiff of impending "years spent in the wilderness, Liverpool-style" with this team?
Oh, here's the other good news, too. Remember the new TV deal coming in next season? Middlesbrough (or whoever else comes up from the first division) will basically be able to spend the GDP of Guam on players if they want to.
Not one outfield player this summer - the only club in any top league. Hmm, I wonder why the qualifier is there - is there some club in Fiji or Tajikistan that also did not? One for the pub quizzes, that.
Man of the Match: Alexis scored and was generally good, but I have to go with Mesut Ozil. Once again, a world-class artist playing on a wavelength most of his teammates can't get near.
PS: I don't want to hear that old "who would you buy then?" bollocks. If you're going to press me though, then officially my answer is Aymeric Laporte (center-half from Athletic Bilbao with a 50M release clause), William Carvalho (defensive midfielder from Sporting Lisbon) and Goncalo Guedes (a front-three type from Benfica).
